Lary Holland: Official Blog, Links, and Resources

Esilanna,

Happy Tenth Birthday honey! Daddy is thinking about you always. I love you and miss you! I hope and pray that you have a wonderful birthday!

Love, Daddy.

I posted a few exchanges yesterday online because it seemed like the general mood of society took at three point dip temporarily. Might have been the star alignments, the oil spill, or some other proximate cause but I offered up this advice:

"I think that we should all live our dreams and only we can make those dreams happen! So many times we find ourselves waiting for something to happen instead of being the force to make it happen. It might not be easy, it might not be quick, but I tell you we can all make it happen if we really want to."

I guess my problem with so many people is that they withdraw, let depression hit becoming unproductive, or just isolate in general to one single issue to the destruction of everything else around them. Take a step back and start with your own community and find a local community calendar and then get out and start to do things. Reconnect with friends. Reconnect with family. You would be surprised how many people you can really help just by being out in the public sharing ways to make things better. Advocacy efforts can really only be successful if your advocacy focuses on truly building better communities. Better communities, better education, better interaction. It's like a speech I gave years ago at the Flint City Council Meeting... "individuals come together to make families, families come together to make neighborhoods and communities, and neighborhoods come together for their government." If any of those links are weak everything that comes after them will be flawed or weak too.

Let's build healthy communities to solve the problems that are plaguing society. It will be more fun.

I had always shared with people that the best day in life since the age of 18 was July 2nd for me. The thing is, many people have a special date because they think it is magic or just their lucky day. The second of July is a day of personal growth every year and a day of decision-making and goal-setting for me. The main point is... luck, magic, etc. has nothing to do with the day... It's a day that I personally choose to be special and enjoy doing so.

Over the past many years, life has been slow and many changes have taken hold. Not what I originally planned, but life is getting more enjoyable and even more changes are taking hold because I am making them. I have gone back to my roots and discovered that so many people are having a hard time coping with their circumstances, whether it is divorce, child-custody, or just being a victim about everything happening in their life.  I might have forgotten for a minute that my strongest skill is problem-solving no matter what the problem is. Too many people get caught up in their past that prevents them from reaching success in their future. I am using my skills to build some pretty amazing things lately.

So my personal blog is changing soon and reflecting some of the very enjoyable things that I am doing mixed with an occasional opinion piece with a positive twist. So as we go into this Independence Day weekend, enjoy a parade in your hometown, enjoy the holiday reaching out to friends, and most of all enjoy who you are becoming. Independence Day can be taken a few different ways, in the political sense or the personal choice sense. We are all masters of our future so my independence comes with defining the future.

So every year about this time I have a small black book that was given to me as a gift that I take a peek into. Hand-written quotes, flip through some of the pages and see what sticks with me:

"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will" -Unknown.

"In order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion." -Unknown.

"Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be." -Rabbi Benezra

It is a great year so far and getting better. I dedicate my life to succeeding for my children, my family, and my community. That is how we begin to maintain freedom if we are to "lead by example" in our communities. Insert any series of events in your past and you can make it through the dim times by taking the best things from your past as tools for a brighter positive future. You don't have to take the negative with you. Now, I'm going to go finish my cup of coffee on the deck this morning and finish watching the sun come up and watch the blog for some of the fun that I am seriously about to have.

Well son, you just made it to eleven years old today, I think of you each and every day. Happy Eleventh Birthday today Lary! You are in my heart and always on my mind. Big hugs and kisses to you today. I miss you.

Entrusting government officials to do the right thing nowadays, just doesn't seem very logical. As government growth continues to advance, citizen oversight seems to diminish in many key areas. Indystar.Com reported online that forgery charges were filed against ex-state worker (Indystar.Com; Forgery Charges Filed Against Ex-State Worker; Feb 10, 2010; Orig.) involving more theft of child support refunds.

Marion County prosecutors have filed forgery charges against a former state worker in connection with stolen child-support refunds.

James Lewis Parker, 47, was charged Monday with two counts of forgery as a Class C felony. Each charge carries a potential penalty of two to eight years in prison.

The various child support enforcement agencies need more transparency and accountability to ensure proper handling of significant portions of our nation's economy. As child support debt, orders, and associations expand exponentially, the crimes associated with these agencies increases as well.

Over the past several years we have noticed a climate ripe for embezzlement, identity theft, invasion of privacy, and more. Just this past year the Federal government removed some protections to the taxpayer to stop the continuous growth of these agencies. The reversal of the tax payer protection policy that was originally implemented under the Budget Deficit Reduction Act of 2005, paves the way for more disastrous consequences for taxpayers.

Just in June 2008, Delaware Child Support Program Employees were caught stealing from taxpayers and the children. Just over a year ago, we demonstrated how Theft was Running Rampid in State Child Support Programs. The widespread lack of accountability in these programs continues, without sufficiently limiting access to private data and ensuring digital fingerprints are placed on all data in the various systems nationwide, there will continue to be fraud on the taxpayers and the participants of Child Support Enforcement programs.

The Child Support Enforcement program continues to be plagued over the past several years of documented fraud, identity theft, embezzlement, bribery schemes, and more. Just take a
look at the snapshot below, and know that this is hardly a comprehensive look at the problems that exist throughout the nation with this "free for all welfare program."

Fort Bend Woman Guilty in Child Support Fraud Ring ~ "Fort Bend County jury has found 42-year-old Debra Hodge guilty of engaging in
organized criminal activity for her part in bilking over $40,000 in fraudulent child support from the Texas Attorney General's Office."

Child Support Worker Arrested in Bribery Scheme ~ "ORLANDO, Fla. -- A former employee of the Department of Revenue's Child Support Enforcement program was arrested Thursday on bribery charges." (Local6.Com "Child Support Worker
Arrested In Bribery Scheme" March 8, 2007)

Title IV-D Employee Embezzles Quarter of Million in Child Support Enforcement Money ~ "A Natomas woman stands accused of bilking the state Department of Child Support Services of more than $250,000, turning her procurement job into a means of buying a Lexus, hot tub and
big-screen television, among other things."

The Weekly Standard Indicts CSE Title IV-D Welfare Program ~ "There is mounting evidence that the system now encourages marital breakup and exacerbates fatherlessness by creating a winner-take-all game, where the losing parent--commonly a father wanting to save the marriage--is unfairly penalized by the loss of his children and by a federally enforced child support obligation."

Federal Child Support Enforcement Program Makes Little "Cents" to the Taxpayer ~ "So the man, named Michael Eugene Lamb, is going into prison at the age of 49, sitting there on a federal conviction, and coming out sometime when he is almost 51 years old. The federal system will charge the taxpayers for his 1.5 year confinement at a cost between $30,000.00 to $50,000.00 depending on the facility and not including any health issues of the confined."

Child Support Clerk Charged With Embezzlement: More Government Corruption ~ "Another County employee, this one in Lauderdale County, has been indicted by a grand jury on felony embezzlement charges for allegedly stealing more than $216,000.00 of program money, paid for by taxpayers, by writing unauthorized checks to herself from January 2002 through April of 2007. This employee was released on a $10,000.00 bond, which no doubt was probably a drop in the bucket considering she has already
been sitting on the $216,000.00 plus her lush salary.

Two Main Media Outlets Reprot More Thieving Title IV-D/CSE Employees ~ "Two separate reports have come out about a Maine Child Support Enforcement Worker (Title IV-D Employee) that has been stealing money orders from children the agency touts to protect. This most recent employee, who is now on administrative leave pending investigation, was reported as intercepting money orders and depositing them in her personal bank account."

Mounting Accountability Problems With Child Support Programs: Data Stolen ~ "Yuba County scrambled this week to contact 70,000 people whose names and personal information were on a laptop computer stolen from the new Child Support Services office in Linda. County officials said the stolen laptop contained Social Security numbers, birth dates, driver’s license numbers and other private information on 70,000 people+."

Identity
Theft: Opt Out of Family Court Services Before it Happens to YOU! ~ "...customers in at least three states have already experienced serious breaches in their personal information, including social security numbers being compromised and potentially handed over to hackers that might want to steal identities in the last few months
alone."

Implementing more data safeguards, limiting the size and scope of the the Federal and State Child Support Enforcement programs, tightening controls on confidential records, and more needs to be done to protect the taxpayer. We need to reign in the program and make sure it serves the purpose of real needy families rather than as a data harvesting tool for the federal and state governments on nearly every divorcing couple in the United States.

Lary Holland is Host and Producer of the popular online talk show, "Get Your Justice Live" with current content from Legislators, Decision-Makers, Professionals, and parents on government accountability, necessary judicial reforms, and more. Get Your Justice Live broadcasts live every Wednesday and Sunday Night at 8PM EST. Visit the website for more information.

News from a few different sources today, Associated Content, Divorce Without Dishonor, and Get Your Justice Live all have some unique flavors of articles that affect your rights. Feel free to share the articles below with your favorite legal professionals and community leaders.

Parental Alienation, Children of Divorce, and Taxes - Published at Associated Content

What is Parental Alienation? - 12/19/2009

Children of Divorce: Helping to Maintain Their Holiday Cheer. - 12/20/2009

Fairtax: How the Government Steals Christmas! - 12/20/2009

Divorce Without Dishonor: Collaborative Law, Understanding the Judge, and Holiday Custody Exchanges

Getting The Other Side on Board: Collaborative Strategy - November 29, 2009

Here Comes the Judge: A little insight for your child custody and divorce case - 12/05/2009

Some Holiday Transition Considerations for those in Moderate Child Custody and Child Access Turmoil - 12/16/2009

A Family's Heartbreak, Court Watching, Michigan Representative Brian Calley

Michigan Representative Brian Calley: It is now legal to babysit in Michigan... Again. - 12/09/2009

Court Watching An Effective Form of Judicial Reform? - 12/17/2009

A Family's Heartbreak: A Parent's Introduction to Parental Alienation: Author Mike Jeffries on Get Your Justice Live - 12/17/2009

I think that it was Thomas Jefferson that stated "All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent" and there is another side to that equation, that all tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience on the outside to not have the right information from the inside so they can speak up. In essence I believe that all aspects of government should be an open process, to the point that I have even taken to teaching others about the various formalities of records requests, sharing websites that open the doors of legislatures, and more. Myself and a few others have even joked about not acknowledging that we are citizens until we have had our first open records request granted, no matter how small it is. Why? Because an open records request is a chance to MAKE YOUR GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES do something directly for you. In a time when government is all about telling you what to do and when, so you remain to busy to see what is really going on... it is nice to know that we still have the power to require them to do something for us out of their day for the very pay that your local, state, federal, and property taxes contribute.

Here are some references that you should share with others:

Freedom of Information Help, includes open meetings, open records, and government transparency references: http://foiahelp.blogspot.com

State Surge, state by state legislation tracking. Monitor bills that are moving through your state legislative bodies. http://www.statesurge.com/legislation

State Surge, state by state legislator tracking. Monitor what each legislator is doing across the nation. http://www.statesurge.com/legislators

Halt.Org, Judicial Accountability group that monitors, reports, and discloses various issues to the public. http://www.halt.org

Follow the Money, group that is tracking the flow of money on various bills, initiatives, and government acts. http://www.followthemoney.org/

Government shouldn't run on autopilot.

When government thinks nobody is looking, that is when they move to restrict, encumber, and otherwise change the various rights and liberties that we are guaranteed. So be sure that you take some time out of your busy weeks to check in on your officials. Make a telephone call to your local representatives, your federal legislators, your governors, and your other "decision-makers." My getting in the loop you can help micromanage them, rather than waiting for them to micromanage YOU.

Divorce Without Dishonor is an online publication emphasizing positive parenting, collaborative law strategies, and child-centered divorce practices through written articles, links, and resources that are presented by professionals for no cost to the public-at-large. STOP Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations is part of the Divorce Without Dishonor Series in print form.

The online publication and the print book help bring to light a better way to divorce, by demonstrating that divorce without dishonor is possible by listening, collaborating, and exiting a failing relationship with dignity and respect on behalf of children and communities. "Much of what is discussed in Divorce Without Dishonor and Stop Fighting Over the Kids is a consumer awareness piece that demonstrates there are viable alternatives to the adversarial and expensive divorce process," states Lary Holland.

In 2009, Divorce Without Dishonor was referenced on the online and print version of the immensely popular "Divorce for Dummies" book:

Divorce Without Dishonor

http://www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com

You can see from the quality of the postings here that the author, a divorce attorney who went through his own painful divorce, puts a lot of thought and effort into his blog. He not only provides compassionate, practical advice about the major aspects of divorce but writes about such topics as how to overcome the guilt you feel because of your divorce and how to help your child cope with the emotions he or she may feel because of your divorce, tips for moving out of your family's home when you separate, and why some divorced fathers become ghost dads after their divorce --- fathers who pay the child support, but drift out of their children's day to day lives. The blog also highlights interesting divorce-related Web sites to check out, studies to learn from and divorce books to read, and even features quotes that will make you laugh or inspire you as you go through your divorce. (Divorce for Dummies. NJ: Wiley Publishing, 2009. 334-335. Print.)

In essence, inclusion of Divorce Without Dishonor in the Divorce for Dummies print book delivers the information and resources to a larger audience and continues to influence parents and professionals on the issues of positive parenting, collaborative law strategies, and child-centered
divorce practices through written articles, links, and resources.

Last night we released the first in a series of child-centered awareness programs that focus on divorce and trauma that children may experience inside and outside a divorce situation. Here is a copy of the first announcement that went to mediators, psychologists, and a select number of attorneys throughout the United States:

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs070/1102459575011/archive/1102722545167.html

We found ourselves in a position to offer several professionals a free review copy of the book STOP Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations. The book sells for $29.99 through Amazon.Com. Within moments of many professionals walking into their office and checking their email our phones began to ring with people interested in using it as a resource in their own practices for parents, clients, and other colleagues.

Including the resource above we spread the awareness of the Coloring Away Pain series and have been receiving the feed back for them as well.

We interviewed Kimberly Pressley-Herric from Coloring Away Pain here.

The resource books will help parents work with their children through a variety of different trauma types in the form of coloring books to help a child express themselves on complex issues. Tornadoes, Earthquakes,Divorce, Parental Alienation, Floods, Fires, and more.

Here is a complete listing to share with colleagues and clients:
http://www.coloringawaypain.com/books.php

We are also sharing resource sheets from other counselors, psychologists, and professionals amongst their peers, if you have a resource sheet please email me at laryholland@sbcglobal.net  so I can share them with others.